A year after closing a company – motivation is the word

secondwindI honestly thought I’d be even further along.   Maybe that’s why I’ve been feeling more frustrated than normal lately.  It’s been almost exactly a year since I felt it necessary to cease operations of my former company.   That time remains etched in my memory as if it happened yesterday.   At the time I thought that things would be different in a year.   I did not know how, but I knew things would be different.   After all a year is a pretty long time right?

One year later my professional life continues to evolve in so many ways.  Mostly in good ways.  I really enjoy working with my two partners and I am enjoying the dynamic of exchanging ideas with more than a dozen other really smart team members.   I and we get to work with some really interesting and smart clients and outside partners.  Every day is different and that suits me particularly well.

It’s not all good though.   There are still some unresolved issues from my former business that plague my psyche and are just not pleasant to think about.  I try not to but recently it’s been more difficult.   It’s certainly not the kind of anniversary anyone would ever want to celebrate and I sincerely hope it never happens to you.

I realize that thinking I’d be further along is more a measure of my normal impatience than anything else.  Yet, professionally, I have this nagging feeling that I’m searching for that professional sweet spot.  What I mean by sweet spot is having a perfect mix of challenge, productive output, and success that I’ve had before and am striving to achieve once again.

The old saying that the journey is its own reward was laughable a year ago.   That’s not the case for me now as a result of the dramatic changes in my professional life over the past year I’ve learned so much about myself, my professional relationships and prospects that what I’d really like to do is help people that are in or have been in the same situation realize that there is life after a professional setback.   Obviously the story is incomplete with many chapters still to be written.   The intellectual side of me realizes that I’ve made progress – maybe even a lot of progress.   The emotional side of me continues to feel that this is all taking far too long.

I’ve come to the conclusion that maybe the word that describes my impatience and sometimes angst is actually motivation.   I’m not one to rest – now more than ever.  How will it all work out?  New skills, new challenges, new growth opportunities and new relationships.  That kind of sounds like what a journey is all about.

Thanks for all the support and if I can help others in the process it will be worth it in the long run.   What is really the case is that I am just not quite there – yet.

About markkolier

Futurist, entrepreneur, left lane driver, baseball lover
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2 Responses to A year after closing a company – motivation is the word

  1. Jim Fennell says:

    Good post Mark, I certainly can relate to it. I’ve found that most difficult part of closing a business was severing the relationships that formed while building it. But sometimes that’s what’s needed in order to move forward – businesses do outlive their usefulness.

    Hope that you and the crew at 11 Grumman Hill are doing well. Jim


    • markkolier says:

      Thank you Jim – I appreciate your perspective more than you know since I am well aware you are all too familiar. Hope all goes well. I spend little time in CT these days – good thing I love Manhattan.


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